When you want to feel the joy of Christmas, but memories flood your mind…

Do you struggle with trying to feel the joy the Christmas brings, but the thoughts of the loved ones you have lost, make feeling the joy and happiness of the season seem out of reach? I know this feeling all to well, and I am guessing many of you do as well. I am not sitting here writing tonight because I think I have the answers, I just want any of you that feel this way to know you are not alone. Some of you are facing your first year without someone you love, and you really do not know what to expect, making the dread of the season approaching, equally as hard. I know for me, last year I did not know what to expect, facing the first Christmas without Nolan. I made myself sick with dread, before Christmas even got here. I am sure I am not alone in doing this as well, making the time before the time even gets here, as stressful as the actual Christmas season.

So, what do we do? Is it possible to ever want to celebrate anything again? These are the thoughts that go through my mind, as we all once again face Christmas missing someone we love. It may sound like a generic answer, but I find focusing on the small joys the season brings, to be the most helpful. The joy of a little child opening a gift they have been wanting, seeing the joy in their eyes, the joy of seeing all the lights, people work so hard to assemble, and attending the candlelight service at church and listening to the beautiful music, are just a few of the little things that can keep us going.

I know for me personally, I want to celebrate. I want to remember the real reason for the Christmas season, Jesus’s birth. He came and lived a life filled with much heartbreak, just like the kind He feel. We see in the shortest verse in the Bible the emotion Jesus felt when His friend, Lazarus died. John 11:35, simply says, “Jesus wept.” Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, but it did not stop His human emotions. He mourned for His friend, just as we mourn for the one’s we love. One thing we can be sure of is our sorrow is not lost with God. He knows how we feel, and is the most understanding friend we could ever know, and we can always find comfort in Him.

This year, when you think of someone who is facing another year without someone that meant the world to them, reach out to them and offer them support. Just a text, or call, can mean so much. Remind them there are people praying for them, and wanting them to have a good Christmas, even though it is difficult for them. I could list off so many people who are, once again, facing this time without their “person”. Facing another year without their mom or dad, or another day without their child. Let them know you are there for them, and you want the very best for them.

So, this year, while there is so much to celebrate, but some sadness as well. Focus on Jesus and what He means to us, and why He made this time of year one to celebrate. This does not mean there won’t be times of tears and sadness, but it will help us remember the beauty of the Season. Try to focus on what the Christmas season means. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For unto us a child is born, for unto us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Do the names Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, strike your heart like they do mine? He is our Counselor! I might have a Psychology degree, but I cannot help you in any way like our Wonderful Savior! He is our Mighty God! No matter how bad the pain may seem at times, we have a Mighty God! He says He counts our tears. Who else counts our tears besides the most loving God anyone can know?

God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to earth to save us, His children. No other love we have on this earth compares! Jesus came and made Himself sin for us, that we may know Him. John 1:14 says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” Do you love the words full of grace and truth? I know I do. I need His grace every minute, every day. I need His truth. The truth that tells me this is not all their is. As Nolan’s sweet mom, Angie say, “This is not our home,… And we who know Jesus, know we are only passing through this life. So much waits for us in our forever life. I cannot even count the people I long to see “first’! I am only hoping they are all waiting for me and all together. One stop shopping, so to speak. Let me see Jesus! Then I want to see my sweet Nolan, my Aunt Brenda, my cousin Lynn, my Ma and Gran, my good friends Cindy Boyette and Angie Outlaw, and sweet Bailey! In fact, I hope Heaven knows all about a big group hug!

Until that moment, I promise to live every day with a purpose and a clear focus. I want to finish my schooling so I can help people who struggle with trauma and grief. I want to focus on my career as a hairstylist and give it all of my heart. I want to be thankful for the many friends and clients who encourage and love me. Without them, life would not be the same. Without my family, life would not be the same, and it would definitely be boring. We need each other. No matter our circumstances, we need each other to keep moving forward. We need Jesus and His love even more than anyone else here on this earth. Without Him, we are nothing.

This season, no matter how sad you find your circumstances, look to the one who came to save you. The one who loves you more than anyone here on this earth. The one who promises to stick closer than a brother. Let Him invade every cell, and love you through the storms of life. Love the ones God has given you. If He took someone you love away, remember He did it for a reason. Remember, we are only passing through this life. We have a world of joy awaiting. The ones that got there before us, consider them highly blessed. If He took them before He did us, He has more for us to do. They may have accomplished His plan in a shorter time. He may need us to be here for something more. Do not kick and scream and run in the wrong direction. Simply do His will. He has the best plan for all of our lives.