There is just something about that name. Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all Heaven and Earth proclaim. Kings and Kingdoms will all pass away, but there’s something about that name.

It is the name we whisper in the night. The name that calms all our fears. He is waiting for us to call upon Him. A few years ago I sang a hymn at church and tagged the end with this chorus. It always plays in my mind. Jesus is always with us! No matter what we are facing, He is near!

I read a post today about how Ukraine was fighting back against Russia and asked us to keep praying for God to fight their battles. Because when God fights our battles we end with a victory! I think of the song, “this is how I fight my battles! With hands lifted high”…

Lift your hands high and pray for our allies and the people who need us the most! Because when Jesus fights your battles, you can’t lose!

Exodus 14:14 says. “The Lord has only to fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

I have been thinking about the last week or so and how anxious I have felt. Many people are fighting for their lives due to various issues and some people have lost ones they deeply love. It is hard to be still and let God work when your anxious and scared. There is a lot going on in the world today and some of it just frightening.

So, this morning if you are like me and some moments in your life seem uncertain and frightening, remember to rest in Jesus. There is nothing we can do by worry. I have had to remind myself that about a million times this last couple of weeks. When all you can do is pray, just simply pray. God is working all things for our good. It may seem difficult to remember at times, but He truly is.

Rest in the Lord this weekend and remember who is the one in control. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than you way and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (ESV).

We don’t have to understand the why, we only need trust in Him.

Today in NYC, a 22 year old, newly married, police officer was laid to rest. He succumbed to his injuries on Tuesday, after he and another officer were shot in an ambush during the weekend. His partner, also in his 20’s, was killed immediately during the tragedy.

Yesterday, I heard a story about the 22 year old officer’s family keeping him on life support, so his organs could be donated. The family had to make a hard decision to remove the young officer from life support because he was not going to be able to survive, but they let him be a hero once again by donating his organs.

When I heard the story of these young officers, a verse came immediately to my mind. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (ESV). These two men went out and did a job not many people care to do these days, and tragically they lost their lives doing what they felt called to do. They were willing to go out and protect the citizens of their community, even if it meant losing their lives.

For every man or woman who goes out to serve and protect, I thank you! As we grieve for these many officers who have lost their lives, may we find comfort in the true Comforter. Jesus promises to be near to us during times of grief. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (ESV).

We have a wonderful Savior who promises to never leave our side. Thank any officer you know today. They need our love and encouragement more than ever.

Lamentations 3:21-24 says, “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I have hope in him.” (ESV).

These verses not only tell us about hope, but it also mentions the steadfast love of the Lord. The next part of the verse goes on to say that every morning can be a new start, because of the Lord’s mercy. I love that we can wake up every morning to a new start!

Today, when you think about something in your past that you wish you had not done, remember there is forgiveness in the Lord, and hope in a new day. The hope of Christ and His love, mercy and faithfulness allows us to wake up to a fresh start.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV). Aren’t you happy to know Jesus is doing a new thing? It is springing forth!

Both of these verses can be great verses to start off the 2022 year. Yes, it’s going on the end of January, but I have been thinking about how many of us need verses and quotes to get us through our day to day lives. We live in a different world right now. Some of us need a season of healing from deep loss, some need physical healing, some need both. Most of all, no matter what, we all beg for some kind of normalcy!!! So, I have decided to try to do a little something everyday in my blog that will give us a little glimmer of hope. Jesus offers hope in every situation. So let’s take every day, every situation day by day…we can do this! Make this year a year of healing and restoration. Make it a time to lean into God and see what His will is for our lives. It is more than we can imagine, and more than we can comprehend. We may feel loss and sadness, but He is telling us to look beyond that and see His perfect plan. Everyday, let’s plan to check in with one another and let God have His will and way…

Do you struggle with trying to feel the joy the Christmas brings, but the thoughts of the loved ones you have lost, make feeling the joy and happiness of the season seem out of reach? I know this feeling all to well, and I am guessing many of you do as well. I am not sitting here writing tonight because I think I have the answers, I just want any of you that feel this way to know you are not alone. Some of you are facing your first year without someone you love, and you really do not know what to expect, making the dread of the season approaching, equally as hard. I know for me, last year I did not know what to expect, facing the first Christmas without Nolan. I made myself sick with dread, before Christmas even got here. I am sure I am not alone in doing this as well, making the time before the time even gets here, as stressful as the actual Christmas season.

So, what do we do? Is it possible to ever want to celebrate anything again? These are the thoughts that go through my mind, as we all once again face Christmas missing someone we love. It may sound like a generic answer, but I find focusing on the small joys the season brings, to be the most helpful. The joy of a little child opening a gift they have been wanting, seeing the joy in their eyes, the joy of seeing all the lights, people work so hard to assemble, and attending the candlelight service at church and listening to the beautiful music, are just a few of the little things that can keep us going.

I know for me personally, I want to celebrate. I want to remember the real reason for the Christmas season, Jesus’s birth. He came and lived a life filled with much heartbreak, just like the kind He feel. We see in the shortest verse in the Bible the emotion Jesus felt when His friend, Lazarus died. John 11:35, simply says, “Jesus wept.” Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, but it did not stop His human emotions. He mourned for His friend, just as we mourn for the one’s we love. One thing we can be sure of is our sorrow is not lost with God. He knows how we feel, and is the most understanding friend we could ever know, and we can always find comfort in Him.

This year, when you think of someone who is facing another year without someone that meant the world to them, reach out to them and offer them support. Just a text, or call, can mean so much. Remind them there are people praying for them, and wanting them to have a good Christmas, even though it is difficult for them. I could list off so many people who are, once again, facing this time without their “person”. Facing another year without their mom or dad, or another day without their child. Let them know you are there for them, and you want the very best for them.

So, this year, while there is so much to celebrate, but some sadness as well. Focus on Jesus and what He means to us, and why He made this time of year one to celebrate. This does not mean there won’t be times of tears and sadness, but it will help us remember the beauty of the Season. Try to focus on what the Christmas season means. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For unto us a child is born, for unto us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Do the names Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, strike your heart like they do mine? He is our Counselor! I might have a Psychology degree, but I cannot help you in any way like our Wonderful Savior! He is our Mighty God! No matter how bad the pain may seem at times, we have a Mighty God! He says He counts our tears. Who else counts our tears besides the most loving God anyone can know?

God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to earth to save us, His children. No other love we have on this earth compares! Jesus came and made Himself sin for us, that we may know Him. John 1:14 says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” Do you love the words full of grace and truth? I know I do. I need His grace every minute, every day. I need His truth. The truth that tells me this is not all their is. As Nolan’s sweet mom, Angie say, “This is not our home,… And we who know Jesus, know we are only passing through this life. So much waits for us in our forever life. I cannot even count the people I long to see “first’! I am only hoping they are all waiting for me and all together. One stop shopping, so to speak. Let me see Jesus! Then I want to see my sweet Nolan, my Aunt Brenda, my cousin Lynn, my Ma and Gran, my good friends Cindy Boyette and Angie Outlaw, and sweet Bailey! In fact, I hope Heaven knows all about a big group hug!

Until that moment, I promise to live every day with a purpose and a clear focus. I want to finish my schooling so I can help people who struggle with trauma and grief. I want to focus on my career as a hairstylist and give it all of my heart. I want to be thankful for the many friends and clients who encourage and love me. Without them, life would not be the same. Without my family, life would not be the same, and it would definitely be boring. We need each other. No matter our circumstances, we need each other to keep moving forward. We need Jesus and His love even more than anyone else here on this earth. Without Him, we are nothing.

This season, no matter how sad you find your circumstances, look to the one who came to save you. The one who loves you more than anyone here on this earth. The one who promises to stick closer than a brother. Let Him invade every cell, and love you through the storms of life. Love the ones God has given you. If He took someone you love away, remember He did it for a reason. Remember, we are only passing through this life. We have a world of joy awaiting. The ones that got there before us, consider them highly blessed. If He took them before He did us, He has more for us to do. They may have accomplished His plan in a shorter time. He may need us to be here for something more. Do not kick and scream and run in the wrong direction. Simply do His will. He has the best plan for all of our lives.

Continue reading “When you want to feel the joy of Christmas, but memories flood your mind…” →

This month at church, we have been honoring everyday heroes. People like our law enforcement, teachers, nurses, and many more! The first week, we had two new highway patrolmen, the local fire chief, and EMT workers.

I am not going to lie, seeing those troopers up there made tears come to my eyes. Dressed up and looking so much like Nolan, nearly had me running from the sanctuary. Pastor Bill took time to mention and honor, Nolan, and after I got myself together, I was glad I stayed to hear the guest speaker. It was David Nasser, and he was truly awesome and easy to listen to, and his story was amazing.

Last week, we honored teachers, doctors, and nurses who have worked tirelessly through the pandemic. One retired teacher, Mrs. Del Daniels, told us her story about how God let her use her time as a teacher to bring glory to God. Her story was one of triumph, because she was able to use her classroom as a mission field. That testimony got me thinking about how all of our careers are just that, a mission field.

No matter what kind of career we choose, God is always working behind the scenes. No matter what you do for a living, when people find out you are a person of faith, they ask you to pray for them or their family, and they want to talk to you about their concerns. I think it is because they know you care, and are concerned about what is on their heart.

Just like Mrs. Del Daniels in her classroom, her students learned quickly that she was a praying teacher, and wanted the best for their lives. What a testimony of faith that God allowed her to work in a public school setting, while exhibiting her awesome faith in Him!

In my career as a hairstylist, I have encountered numerous teachers and nurses and all other types of careers that were able to spend their time, not only helping others, but also pointing many to Jesus.

I think back to the first week of our “Everyday Heroes” series at church, and how if I had run from the building just because those new troopers made me think of Nolan, and how much I miss him, I would have missed the big picture of what was going on that day.

We know I miss him. Lord have mercy, seeing those guys up there, even knowing their family and that they are precious souls, couldn’t stop my tears. If I see you in that uniform, I am coming undone. I cannot help that fact, it is who I am.

I think about what I would have missed if I had run away and given up on what God had in store for that service. He wanted me to go get a Kleenex and keep on going. I did, and I received a blessing.

David Nasser was the kind of speaker you could listen to all day. He told his life’s story and had me mesmerized. He lived through the Iranian revolution and has faced things many of us have never known.

He didn’t give up, and I won’t either. I will face the hard times head on, because there may be a blessing on the other side. Teaching school, being a nurse or a doctor may be a tough career to be in these days, but what kind of blessing is on the other side?

God calls everyone who chooses to keep peace, His children. Let that sink in! He wants us to keep peace, stay still, and let Him work. It takes all we have sometimes to stay still and let Him work in our lives. I know when I allow Him to work, no matter how hard it seems, things work out for my good.

Let nurses and teachers, doctors and and any other profession that wants to tell you how God is working in their career to speak into your life. They are living on the front lines, and have firsthand knowledge of what is going on in our world.

Remember God is the author of peace, and not confusion. Consider His Word and the promises He makes, “for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind”…1 Tim. 1:7

I love the phrase, “sound mind”. God speaks into our spirit to lean into His word. He promises a sound mind,no matter how hard the circumstances we face. We may see a moment to be too much to face, but if we hold on, He will show us the reason for what we are facing.

He wants to use us, no matter what our career. Whether we stay home and run our home, or work an outside job. He wants to use us for His Glory!

I don’t know about any of you, but some days I think songwriters like Jeremy Camp and Matthew West know my every thought. The songs they sing seem like they were written for just me, but we all know that isn’t true. Songs hit home for so many of us. I love music and a lot of times it feels like it heals my soul. I have always love to sing all the time. Doesn’t matter if it is a commercial jingle or a song on the radio, if it gets in my head I am going to be in the car or around the house singing. My friend Roberta, has a son named Caleb. Well one day Caleb, after listening to many of my song outburst, said if they ever make a movie of your life, it will definitely be a musical! We laughed and laughed and I have never forgotten him saying that because it was funny and true.

Today, I was on the way home from going walking with my baby cousin, Jennifer. Most of the time Jennifer, Josh, Karlee, Billy and I, and sometimes Laney are all walking together. We do it most every afternoon. If you are looking for us around 5:30, we are probably walking our usual 3 to 4 miles in their neighborhood or the beautiful greenway we now have behind the hospital. We walk and solve all the worlds problems, while we get ready for the pregnancy care center 5k next weekend. Well, today it was just me and Jennifer and I talked her head off like normal, (sometimes I hush and let her talk)… She is the baby cousin on my Dad’s side of the family and one of the biggest encouragers I have ever had. She helps me with school work and proof reads my papers. She tells me I can finish school, when there are days I think I may throw my computer through a wall and give up. She never lets me give up.

So, today on my way home from her house and our walk together, I heard Jeremy Camp’s, “Out of my hands”. Side note: on the way to her house I was dancing in the car when leaving my street and a man driving by looked at me like I was crazy! I guess he doesn’t dance in his car and do drum solos on the steering wheel. Bless him! He don’t know what fun is. Anyway, I was flipping through the radio stations and singing along when I stopped on Jeremy’s song. Right then and there riding down the road, I had my own worship service in my car! If you haven’t heard the song, please look it up and listen. Trust me, it will be worth it. The words of the song that get to me are, “when I feel like all this pain is never gonna end, brought to my knees by all of these things I don’t understand, I will let the weight of my fear fall like sand, out of my hands into yours, out of my hands into yours… he goes on to repeat, “take this out of my hands, take this out of my hands”.

I think that part and those words get to me because there are so many things I do not understand. I do not understand most things that go on politically these days. I don’t understand why my sweet friend and co-worker lost her son and mom and twin sister in a matter of 5 years, leaving her dazed and confused. I don’t understand why my sweet, precious son-in-law is gone. Why my friend, Irene, lost her sweet husband or why my neighbor, Lynn, lost his precious wife. I don’t understand why my friend Angie is gone, leaving a husband who is reeling from loss and her awesome mom and children in a deep state of grief. I do not understand why my sweet baby cousin and her brother have to live without my aunt, their Mom. My aunt never saw any of her grandbabies, none of them were here yet. She would have been the best grandma!

So, while I could go on and on of things I don’t understand, there is one thing I know. I know I can let the weight of my fears fall like sand. I can let that fear fall right into the hands of my Savior. He can take all my fears and walk with me through it all. He will not only walk with me, He will take away all my fear and fight for me, when I cannot fight for myself. We do not have to understand everything. We just don’t. What we do have to understand is there is a plan for every thing under the sun. One day Jesus will tell us exactly why the things that shake us to our core had to happen. He will show us why He needed us to simply trust in Him. He will never let you down, or steer you wrong. He is always right there.

I know this part may sound crazy, but every time I hear the song “Say I won’t” by Mercy Me, a few lines makes me think of Nolan and smile. The song is about a man who lost all his limbs from septic shock. I understand the song, but there is a few lines of that song that gives me chills and makes me want to shout. “I’m gonna run, no I’m gonna fly. I’m gonna know what it means to not just live but to be alive”. (Mercy Me). Let me tell you why that gets to me. I want to tell you something, Nolan is more alive today than he has ever been! Angie Outlaw, is more alive today than she has ever been! And I can go on and on! They are living a life we only dream about. They are running the streets of gold, singing with the angels, and sitting at the feet of Jesus and hearing stories we can only dream about right now. I think about Nolan dancing and singing. He was so good at both those things and he is doing it for real right now. He is running, he is flying, he is just learning what it is to truly be alive. He is in the arms of his Savior! Just imagine it!

My baby cousin, Jennifer and I talk about it often. Her mom is spoiling Nolan some kind of good right now. Imagine it, let it soak in. They are living a life we all dream of, strive for and are promised because we have faith in our Savior. I am ready! I don’t know about you, but He can come get us anytime! In the meantime, love hard, love often, and love even the unlovable. God has a plan for us. Everyone of us!

But I’m not, I’m broken…when it’s out of control, I say it’s under control, but it’s not and you know it, no easy way to admit it, but being honest is the only way to fix it, am I the only one? Who says I’m fine…

I say it…you say it…but truth be told, most days we are not fine. I know I am not fine, but I have the hardest time admitting to my struggles. I used to think I had my act together, but I don’t even have a close grip on my act at this point.

And an act, truth be told, is exactly what it was, because I have never had it together. I thought I was doing okay until Nolan left us, but since then, not even close. I cannot even pretend any more I have it together in any shape, form or fashion.

On the heels of Nolan’s first birthday without him…one of my friends leaves us. She didn’t want to leave, but I can promise you, if she had the choice, she wouldn’t even think of coming back here. She is perfectly healed and whole. Something she has not been in 7 years now.

So, why do we tell anyone who ask we are doing fine? Why can’t we just tell the truth? I know I have had to start just being straight up honest. Without the honesty, I think people expect more of me than I am capable of giving. I do not want to be a liar anymore, I want to tell the truth.

So, truth be told..yeah I do okay. I have a great life for the most part, but it’s the other parts that break me. The parts where I do not have my sweet son-in-law anymore. The parts where my friends are dying from cancer. The parts where I feel like the country is falling apart around us.

“The truth be told, the truth is rarely told”….I recently told my counselor (oh yes I definitely see one), I do not do well anymore if I have not had any sleep and I sometimes have to rearrange my appointment and come home and rest. I just can’t handle the things I used to anymore. I said I came to realize when we did not work for almost 4 months that if I do not get to someone’s haircut until next week, they will be fine. She pointed at me and said “there it is”! “You are right! They will be fine”.

When you have worked as long as I have and you think you have to be the most responsible person on the planet, well I am here to tell you that isn’t so. Some days, we simply cannot be everything to everyone. We have to take a moment and do something foreign to many of us and take a nap!

I recently heard Kathie Lee Gifford in an interview say how our loved ones who have gone on before us, would not come back here even if they could. That statement hit home to me! They wouldn’t come here! I mean can we blame them? Who would want to come back here, if you were in Heaven and celebrating with Jesus!

My friend, Angie made so many friends in her cancer journey, and I bet they were all standing there waiting for her the second she arrived in Heaven! Her husband, Alan, said there had to be enough people to cover two city blocks waiting for her.

My friend, Meg, said it best! She said, “Run up and down the streets of gold! Say hello to family and friends who are there. You’ve only gone on ahead, we will meet you in the by and by…”

Angie, go run those streets of gold like Meg talked about, with your new, whole, cancer free body! You deserve it! You deserve that mansion! You deserve being in the arms of your loving Savior! You spent your days, no matter what pain you were in, with a smile on your face! You encouraged others every step of the way. We miss you, but we are happy for you! We all know one thing for certain, we will see you again! You will be standing right there the second we get there. If there is a hospitality committee you are definitely already on it.

Angie, many have been in awe of you. I have often thought of how you held Laney and her wiggle worm self while I cut your hair a couple of months ago. I know you didn’t feel good, but she wanted to sit with you. How we went to your house just a couple of weeks ago and you held her and entertained her, even though I know you were extremely weak. You did everything with your whole heart! You would have held onto her and not let a thing happen to her, no matter what it took out of you. It is just the person you are.

“For I know the plan I have for you (Angie), says the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). God had a plan for you…a plan we do not understand, but we know it was for His glory!

I will see you again! Until then, rest easy in the arms of our Savior!

One more day, one more time, one more sunset maybe I’d be satisfied, but then again, I know just that would do, keep me wishing still for one more day with you…. (Diamond Rio, 2000).

If you read about Diamond Rio band talk about this song, you will hear how they could have never imagined the impact it would mean for so many people. Around the time of the songs release, Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed at Daytona and the song made a resurgence after the 9/11 attacks. Marty Roe said, “it seemed to say what people wanted to hear, and what they wanted to say about someone they lost.”

When I think of this song, I, of course, think of Nolan.

Nolan, today, you would be 29. The thought of you not being here is crippling. It cripples so many people. You touched so many in your short lifetime, that I cannot imagine how many people your life has touched. Jesus used you in ways you could not have ever imagined, all because you chose to trust in Him.

Almost one year without you seems like an eternity,.. But I choose to focus on what time we all had with you, and not let the enemy steal the joy you brought to our lives. I think of when you and Alexis came and told us you were going to have Laney, and you and her had played me all day and I had no idea what you were about to tell me. I think of how you hugged me and let me act like a crazy woman when I figured it all out.

I think of you going to see your Mom graduate with her doctorate degree and how proud you were of her…how you decided you would grow a 70’s mustache while you were there for her big day, because your words, “new place, new me”. We were all grateful the patrol did not allow facial hair and you had to get rid of that ‘stache when you got home.

No one will ever compare to your loving heart, your bigger than life personality and your even bigger smile, I am sure your parents spent a fortune on, just like mine did.

I am thankful you had the best childhood and lived your years here on earth happy and healthy… I am thankful my child found you and you gave her the best gift anyone could imagine with our sweet Laney.

So, today I choose to find joy. Remembering how you loved all of us makes me smile. Remembering how you made us all laugh, non-stop makes me smile even bigger. You were a true, one of a kind, smile maker!

I think about what the Bible says about loved ones who go before us. God’s Word says in 1 Thessalonians to “not grieve as those who have no hope”. I have hope, because I know beyond a doubt you are with your Savior. He chose to take you and that is not something for me to understand. I know I cannot comprehend the why, so I ask God to help me always remember all the joy you brought to so many.

“Last night I had a crazy dream, a wish was granted just for me, it could be anything. I didn’t ask for money or a mansion in Malibu, I simply wished for one more day with you…” (Diamond Rio). One day we will be with you for all eternity! And I honestly cannot wait to see you!