‘Till you can’t….

“If you’re gonna love somebody, hold them as long, and as strong and as close as you can, until you can’t…” (Cody Johnson).

I don’t get to write a lot anymore, unless it’s a paper for school. I have recently had to privilege to work with Grief Share at church and it has been as good for me, as it has for my group. When I hear that song until you can’t, I think about something we say in our group all the time. We talk about how we were so fortunate to have our loved ones, and even though the pain is awful, we wouldn’t trade the time we had with them.

I found something the other day that says the best thing about grief I have ever heard and I read it to my group. It said, “God’s response to Lazarus death was not, ‘He is in a better place’ and it wasn’t ‘don’t worry, you will see them again’.” His response was to weep. That’s it. Jesus wept. A Christlike response to someone’s grief is grieve with them. No platitudes or stoic strength. Just weep.” (Not sure who wrote this)

In the group we talk a lot about how people don’t know what to say when they know you are in pain, and especially if you are crying. In my counseling theories class, we are learning about how important it is to let people just simply cry sometimes. There is no need for fancy words, just be there for that person. I am thankful for every person who just sat and grieved with mine and Nolan’s family.

Today, Nolan is celebrating his 31st birthday in Heaven. Alexis said it best earlier in a post about his birthday being today. She said let’s remember him on this day and remember to try to live a little like he did. Nolan laughed, loved and he danced and cut up like no one else! Let’s all remember to live a little everyday like that light hearted, sweet soul did! Sometimes you gotta dance like nobody’s watching!

Let’s all remember that when someone is hurting there are no fancy words needed! Just simply hold their hand, cry with them. Remember Jesus wept too. He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead and he still wept!

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Side note: I am still planning to do a memory week leading up to Nolan’s 3rd year in Heaven! But if you have a memory you feel like sharing today, please do! Always remember that talking about someone loved one who has gone on doesn’t make them sad, it makes them happy. Hearing stories of Nolan makes us smile!